One of the differences in coaching and problem-solving is that the coaching process focuses more on the up-front instead of back-end action. For example, when I coach a leader on implementing a goal, we spend more time determining why a goal is important than on brainstorming action steps and possible roadblocks.
When we look at the source of a goal, we find some are made out of optimism for the future while some are based on the fear of what is going on in the present moment. Unfortunately, the fear-based goals show up more often than targets formulated from long-term visions, especially when the economy isn’t stable.
This isn’t necessarily a sign of poor leadership. It is a sign that the leader is human. The brain naturally errs on the side of suspicion. Its primary purpose is to protect us and keep us alive. Once we feel safe, we can be creative. These two functions—seeking safety and creativity—rarely operate side by side. Therefore, reacting out of fear to less than perfect conditions is normal but limiting.
What this means to the leader: Without realizing it, the leader may make more decisions based on avoiding harm than on creating success. It is natural to seek to avoid the pain of humiliation, the upset of disappointment, and all the emotions attributed to failure. In fact, the brain does more than react to bad news. It is always on the lookout for possible attacks on a person’s credibility and acceptance even when things are stabilizing.
The Outcome: In addition to focusing on short-term fixes, the leader may delay making vital changes, resist good suggestions, rationalize the status quo, and miss great new opportunities for growth.
To make matters worse, all humans are masters at rationalizing their behavior. We make decisions on emotions, and then justify them with logic. This process is instantaneous so we believe our rationalizations are truth. The more experiences and knowledge we have, the more data we can tap into to generate the reason.
This is a good reason for a leader to have a coach and for coaches to spend more time in the “exploring and discovering” phase. Coaches become “thinking partners” for the leader, helping them calm their protective brains so they can cut through to the truth.
Here are some good coaching questions leaders should consider when setting goals and making decisions for the future:
- What criteria are you using to make this decision or set this goal?
- Is the criteria list heavily based on avoiding loss, mistakes and pain?
- What feelings are truly driving this decision? Fear, guilt, embarrassment or anger?
- What are you afraid of losing, really?
- If conditions were stable and everything was going well, what would you choose to focus on instead?
- What decision would you make if you had nothing personally to worry about?
- What else is possible right now?
Self-awareness is the first step to outsmarting the brain. In the coaching process, it is vital you take the time to help the leader discover what emotions the brain is reacting to. Then the leader can use logic to make decisions based on what is possible instead of what is wrong.
Dr. Reynolds provides executive coaching, mentor coaching for internal and external coaches and customized training programs. She can be contacted through the The Pyramid Resource Group , a corporate coaching company and creator of Team Advantage , the complete coaching guide for team transformation.
